was feelin guilty

I woke up yesterday and was going to do another day of just liquid fasting but I ended up not doing it because of some meds I took making my stomach burn realizing I had to eat with it. I ate but after I ate I felt horrible. So I took the kids to school and then I stayed home from work and got into my quiet place and started praying cuz I needed to know if God was mad at me LOL and he chuckled at me, after he forgave me :) after this I just still felt guilt and shame for some reason and so I asked God to give me answers so I was folding clothes and looked over and saw a book I had started to read but never quite finished a while back. God told me to pick it up (The Normal Christian Life by watchman Nee) and open it somewhere to the center. (he ever tell you to do that? lol) Well as I started reading, it began to explain the basics of what it means to believe that you died in Christ and to reckon it so (Reckon (greek trans) means to right it down in your account book, it is so!). So that if I have faith in his word, then I died in Christ on that Cross, the old girl that was sentenced to death for sin died, meaning I have already been justified through Christ, not because I'm righteous but that he is and that unrighteous rebellious girl was in Christ when he died therefore she died. The girl subjected to the death penalty already executed and the way I live today is because Christ brought me back to a new life not under the law but in freedom through faith that it has already been done. Sin is now a lie satan uses against you to shame you away from your father (make you hide from him) Satan only lies to the new creation to keep their shame keeping them from God just as he uses sin to the old creation to keep them from God but sin doesn't mean the same to the new creation as it did to Adam, To the new, its based on the fact that you should reckon that God purchased you and to take something of his to use it for you is not very nice, is it? LoL So just as Adam was to man in the garden so is Christ is to us. So which do you have faith in? That dead girl cannot be punished to death anymore and when Satan lies to this new girl to try and tell me I am evil or bad or not good enough I can say, "yea, but the one who lives in me is" and instead of doubting the truth, Gods word and his sons blood I can tell Satan he is a liar and that not only is my daddy bigger than him but because the biggest now lives in me, he better get lost. Haha just thought I would share this for any of you who were downing yourselves for not being able to stay on your fast. Don't let Satan lie to you... You are not alive to him anymore and it is not you that gets you anywhere its God in you that molds you IN HIS TIMING to be exactly what you need to be for his Kingdom :) Chin up Charlie its all good!

Vanity

Sometimes to realize how sorry you really are you have to understand the God our standards are measured up against . To an ultimate Holy God we all look pretty sickening. You literally stink to his nose, we are covered in poo and are invisible except our stench to him especially while we're in sin and that's because he's that good. So the next time you catch yourself comparing you or judging you against anyone or anything else, just know that because his standards are so high, we cannot even see that high on the spectrum of the most high and we only see so little of the scale..we're not even good enough to judge ourselves. John the Baptist said HE was not even worthy to touch the strap on the saviors sandal and John the Baptist walked and talked with Jesus, they were cousins for that matter.. Remember this when it comes to vanity and who we think we are. You are nothing good, nothing holy, nothing righteous and without Jesus Christ and following his example your nothing at all but a reason for God to destroy everything and start over. If you want to be anything with favor, read and worship what Gods son is all about and strive to become just like him. This generation is nothing but sinful so much so that we don't even realize most of the time when we do it. We are a people who have made habits of eating pig slop and we have learned to ask for repentance in an effort to have all the bases covered instead of striving to be sinless for the glory of God. The only thing that stands between the church and miracles is us, sinful vanity and a conscience effort after our own glory instead of His. You want to see some amazing things happen? Then beat yourselves daily to keep yourselves under the submission of the Holy Spirit, like Paul did. Peter Simon was constantly fasting and it wasn't like he prepared himself to fast or dreaded or was glad to get off of it, he just did it because the Holy Spirit was his first nature instead of his second. What happened to those people like Moses and Joshua, and what was the difference between them and us? Maybe its that we don't allow the Holy Spirit to possess our lives no matter how crazy we look to someone else. If you want to know what he wants from you then read his instructions daily, because the word is alive, it changes every day just like a growing body and have fear and a reverence for the Holy of Holys enough to realize that fasting is for the spirit as water is for the body. We need to have a fear that if you don't do what he wants that the the boat that the millennium Moses is building just might leave without you. This race is not for you to win for you, for vanity is a thief of steadfast love Jonah 2;8 and because you are flesh, you are vain in the flesh but not in spirit. If you want miracles, be clean so that God can see you to use you. Be constant in prayer to keep temptation in check and know that if we cannot change things then how are Christians any different than the lost? Fact is, right now, we give the world no reason or evidence that there is a Christ worth dropping us for. Why would a sinner give up their world to gain none of the miracles or love of that Christ showed or the apostles showed back in tha day? Ask yourself one question. What is the difference between us and the apostles and Christians that performed all the miracles then? Have we changed the world or have we conformed to it? We need to BE DIFFERENT NOW, even if it doesn't look good on us!

God Appointments

Have you ever had a time when someone walked in where you were, whether it was at work, at a store, library or your home and that person started talking with you about something you had been thinking or praying about? Or maybe that person tells you about something in their lives that they need prayer for? I've had that happen a lot lately. I feel that those times are what I call God Appointments- times that the Lord has put in our lives to seek Him whether it is in prayer or in praise.

Yesterday I had two God Appointments happen back to back. Two people- one woman and one man came in and each had their own specific prayer need. I cherish those times and I am so very thankful that the Lord has made those opportunities happen more and more. The FedEx Ground guy was troubled because he has missed church due to his other job- so we prayed about it. I feel that the Lord has put His hand on that situation and resolved it already. The woman- well, I prayed for her and invited her to church, of course!

I am so excited about tomorrow! I can hardly wait to hear of all the marvelous things the Lord has done in our midst!

I worked outside my comfort zone 2

I also have invited a couple of people from my doctors office, and another from my chiropractor's office, and also the fedex man! heehee! but my sister and i are about to go door to door to pass out the team impact flyers and that will give us the opportunity as well to invite them to church! i am so thankful for how much the Holy Spirit has been drawing our church services and the body closer and closer to HIM....it's been awesome. So I appreciate your blog the other day about stepping out of our comfort zones Mary..cause I believe that we all will be stepping out of the comfort zone of ourselves and closer to the comfort zone of God !!!!
It's time!!! woohoo! :)

so i cant wait to see what mista KC preaches on tomorrow

my adrenaline is pumped thinkin bout it. Last night me and my sis were up late just talking about the amazing things God hs done in our lives since fasting. God seems to be developing something big here in Royse City abd even though my drive to and from work is over an our each way. I wouldn't miss his way for nothin! I feel so blessed to be apart of something so big! Me and my sis have never been this close and I am so blessed with new relationships. Can't wait to see what happens this coming week.

Working outside your comfort zone

I did something outside my comfort zone today. I invited a total stranger to church tomorrow! Inviting someone I know is one thing, but to invite someone I don't know is different altogether. I hope the person comes since he hasn't lived there for long and I don't know if anyone has invited him to church. I truly hope he attends and finds our church to be what he has been searching for in his life. Praying for it- the Lord's will. So here's the challenge- have you gone outside your comfort zone to invite someone (whether you know them or not) to church?

Wanting more too

I want more but not for me..I'm full now after fasting.. Todays church service was awesome, I am still walking around in awe, so much so that playing ball tonight was definately not on my mind lol, as everyone could tell.. and not just because I was scared of the ball hitting my nose again :) I was just talking with my mom last night about the same exact thing the pastor spoke on in church this AM. Last night, having spent 50 bucks to fill my kids with pizza and supply them with fake gold tokens I looked around with eyes that could finally see and saw children and parents possibly going straight to hell and my kids and I were interacting with them! I was there at Chuckee Cheese to give my kids the only fun day they have been able to have while on Spring break and had been feeling guilty for not taking a day off to spend more fun time with my kids so I was trying to make up for it. Then something reminded me that it is not my job to give them a fun life and instead of having them at Chuckee Cheeses wasting time on something they will forget tomorrow, I need to be having them in the word everyday raising them up on fire for God so that they can be that light for the souls of the little chubby hands that were dropping tokens into those distracting machines. YES I WANT MORE... I want to see Christians leading LOST SOULS to Christ instead of getting fat on his word and keeping it all to ourselves. I want to see and be apart of brave ministries where people are not afraid of talking to a group of gang members because we know we have GOD himself on our side. We know the power of God, when someone who was un pure would touch the arch of the covenant, it would strike them dead, so why are we so afraid to do dangerous things for Christ, for God? All of the apostles went all over teaching the word, Christ went out into the streets, he never sat still and would approach demon possesed men that the citizens had tied up to trees in the wildreness. The last three years or so of my life, I believe I have gone through some tough times so that God could show me what it feels like to feel lost. At times I felt like a child in a supermarket having lost my parent (all along he was watching me from afar)God wanted me to feel lost for a moment so that I could finally say I have walked in both shoes. I have seen sad people, sad faces and broken hearts leaving night clubs too drunk to walk straight and I know those people want to be approached and loved on because I was one of those people!..alot of them have seen the power of Christ but are going through a weird time or a horrible time or a nightmare and Christians seem to be too busy with their lives to be there for the ones that GOD put us here for. What is wrong with this picture? When I find myself back in church feeling all beautiful again knowing God still has a calling for my life after he has cleaned me up I still have this guilty horrible feeling when I know I have left them all to fend for themselves. Why are Christians waiting for God to give them a job in the ministry that is in the spotlight or famous?? Hasn't he done this? Is saving a human being from a burning eternal hell fire not a good enough calling for Christians? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT CALLING?? Why does it have to be a famous calling for it to work for us? And why are we WAITING FOR HIM TO SPEAK TO US ABOUT WHAT HE WANTS US TO DO? WE ARE ALL CALLED like pastor KC preached about! WHERE ARE WE? I remember being in a bar right after my husband got sentenced being hurt with the church because I wanted and needed someone to talk to and not only could I not find immediate family that would just lend an ear(sorry guys lol)but much less a church at the time. NO ONE WAS THERE UNLESS I WAS BUYING THEM A DRINK! I was raised in church and grew up in church and have depended on church my whole life but why have I always had to find the church to be found?? Why couldnt the church have found me? I do want more, I want to find the lost, the hurting, the broken, the called who are confused about life as God shapes their life and while we're bringing those back home, we pick up a few more from the crowd while we're at it. I want to see lost souls falling on their faces at alter calls because they have finally been found and it's what they have been looking for their whole lives! I want to teach our children to want wisdom and fruits of the spirit instead of a gummy worm worth a thousand tickets at Chuckee Cheese. I want to steak out night clubs for people too drunk to drive and give them a ride home. Literally! Does anyone see where I'm going with this?