was feelin guilty

I woke up yesterday and was going to do another day of just liquid fasting but I ended up not doing it because of some meds I took making my stomach burn realizing I had to eat with it. I ate but after I ate I felt horrible. So I took the kids to school and then I stayed home from work and got into my quiet place and started praying cuz I needed to know if God was mad at me LOL and he chuckled at me, after he forgave me :) after this I just still felt guilt and shame for some reason and so I asked God to give me answers so I was folding clothes and looked over and saw a book I had started to read but never quite finished a while back. God told me to pick it up (The Normal Christian Life by watchman Nee) and open it somewhere to the center. (he ever tell you to do that? lol) Well as I started reading, it began to explain the basics of what it means to believe that you died in Christ and to reckon it so (Reckon (greek trans) means to right it down in your account book, it is so!). So that if I have faith in his word, then I died in Christ on that Cross, the old girl that was sentenced to death for sin died, meaning I have already been justified through Christ, not because I'm righteous but that he is and that unrighteous rebellious girl was in Christ when he died therefore she died. The girl subjected to the death penalty already executed and the way I live today is because Christ brought me back to a new life not under the law but in freedom through faith that it has already been done. Sin is now a lie satan uses against you to shame you away from your father (make you hide from him) Satan only lies to the new creation to keep their shame keeping them from God just as he uses sin to the old creation to keep them from God but sin doesn't mean the same to the new creation as it did to Adam, To the new, its based on the fact that you should reckon that God purchased you and to take something of his to use it for you is not very nice, is it? LoL So just as Adam was to man in the garden so is Christ is to us. So which do you have faith in? That dead girl cannot be punished to death anymore and when Satan lies to this new girl to try and tell me I am evil or bad or not good enough I can say, "yea, but the one who lives in me is" and instead of doubting the truth, Gods word and his sons blood I can tell Satan he is a liar and that not only is my daddy bigger than him but because the biggest now lives in me, he better get lost. Haha just thought I would share this for any of you who were downing yourselves for not being able to stay on your fast. Don't let Satan lie to you... You are not alive to him anymore and it is not you that gets you anywhere its God in you that molds you IN HIS TIMING to be exactly what you need to be for his Kingdom :) Chin up Charlie its all good!